1. A day without cellphone
I had a day without cellphone yesterday. I turned it off before the battery dead, and the day without cellphone began. I spent more time with my laptop and checked Facebook, Renren and Douban at least four times frequent than I usually do. Nothing happens there and I have nothing more to say. BUT it makes me feel better. I talked to my mom twice a day, but I used to talk to her twice a week. We use Wechat text and leave audio message to each other. I told mom my cellphone is dead and I don’t have my charger and this would last for a whole day. Then mom and I reached an unspeakable privity, logging in on QQ for the whole day.
Close relationship is like this right? When you are very available for each other, the person could be a part of you daily life so that you don’t need to pay extra attention to. He or she is like your coffee machine, you won’t kiss it all the time but you know whenever you need a cup of coffee, it is there for you. However, when the routine is broken, so one borrow the coffee machine from you, though he promised you can still get the coffee whenever you want, you start feel unsafe about whatever the machine itself, or the coffee you potentially need. Then you want a coffee all the time, not really you becomes more thirsty for coffee, but you just cannot help thinking about a cup of coffee made from YOUR coffee machine. You need an assurance, an certainty, an authority, you need things again under your control and get the possibility of conducting you routine back.
2. Spring festival
It is spring festival in China today. My parents made dumplings together. When I wechated my parents, I heard them teaching my brother don’t pee everywhere in the apartment. My mom said it is spring festival, we just cleaned the apartment, so he cannot pee wherever he wants to. I don’t really think so. He should have a privilege to pee wherever he wants since it is spring festival. I like this brother more than the last one. He doesn’t have and doginality problem. And he play with himself if my parents don’t have time to get along with him.
Fireworks is a tradition in China. The sky is always lighted up at the New Year’s Eve, and the next following two weeks, the city suffers from the smell of firework leftovers. I don’t understanding why scientist doesn’t invite some ecology friendly fireworks so people can have as much fun as they want without polluting the air. There is a children safe firework, the sparks is not hot so kids can touch the sparks while the firework is burning in their hands. It is small but super fun.
3. The rituals I had:
I have ritual difficulties since every time I made a plan, it won’t really last long. I’ve heard about the saying that 21 days insistence nourishing a habit. It means if you continue to do something as a ritual for 21 days, you will get used to it and it won’t be hard to keep going. However, it is the same easy to give it up if you simply stop doing it. ***Yoga is the same, memorize English words is the same. I can start anything I want, keep them lasting, but when they stops I won’t feel bad. HOWEVER, there is one thing that I cannot stop and if I stop it I will feel bad, psychologically and physically. That’s WRTING. I have to write, not necessarily everyday, but at least every other day. I have to write whenever I want to and if I cannot do it, or I just stop doing it because of some external reasons, such as a very very intense scheduled travel or busy to death one day school life, I will feel dying. I kept writing since I was 10 years old. Weekly journal to diary, blog, poem, novel, short story…. all different things and all different styles. I don’t really know what I’m writing about and I never have a plan about my writing. I have the need of writing something down and I just do it. It is not a ritual in terms of my need on doing it. However, it is a ritual in terms of writing is a part of me.
4. Learning to make coffee
Why I never worked in a cafe before? This is so wrong. The first year I came here, When I talked to Leo about the works we’ve done before, he told me he can make the best Latte ever. I thought he was joking, but he said he worded in a cafe in his university before, and he was INTO making the best Latte. Fine, I can make the best milk tea anyway. Is that comfort me a little bit. Not really. I should work in a cafe too. If one day I’m going marry someone, I could make him the best Latte plus the best milk tea ever. That would be comforting.
5. Sleeping mate
If one person only sleep with you, what will the person mean to you? I’m not talking about sex. Just sleeping. Him, one side of the bed; you, another side of the bed. You can hug each other for sure; you can also sleep separately on your own side, back to back, or whatever. Just sleep together, no talking, no living, no anything. Would it be the same as sleeping with a Teddy Bear? Would you name him as something warm and cute? The most important thing, would you treat him as a person or a thing?
6. Gay friend
I don’t know why, a lot of girls like gays, including me. I cannot tell who is a gay who is not. It always happens like this: I meet someone, I though “this guy is so mild and nice and humous and cute”, then it turns out to be he likes boys too. I talked about this with my friends, quite a lot of them had the same experience before. Question, why someone can tell if a man or a woman is homosexual or not, some cannot?
7. Spring is still far away
Snow start melting. But when I asked about when spring will come, the answer is April. That’s too far away from now, and the semester almost ends at that time.
8. Chinese writing and a language joke I made with my true love
Monkey is my true love in this world. We were high school classmate and also university classmate. That’s like a chance of winning a lottery in China. Every time I checked our chatting history, there would be something super funny there. Like this one:
Monkey: “Only I can understand your sentence without punctuation!”
Monkey: “You dummy……”
9. Girl’s friendship
The magic thing about this friendship is that when taking a retrospect about things happened between us, I find those moments we’ve shared together are fading their original color. The scenes, images in my mind become more beautiful and dreamlike because they changed their color and automatically edited into a more artistic and nostalgic way. I can remember I shouted her name in the corridor so that she would feel embarrassed because everybody on the first floor could hear her name, but I cannot remember how we spent the rest of the day together; I remember that we walked together outside of the dorm, preparing to go to the restaurant, then I asked “do you want to play pool?” She said “Why not?” then we went to the pool instead of went to lunch like two idiots, but I cannot remember how was the pool going; I remember she told me her ex boyfriend hates me since she spent too much time with me but I cannot remember how I answered to this; I remember the moment we walk into the shopping mall near our university; I remember how we are standing by the bar waiting for our milk tea and how I stared into the counter watching the girl pouring hot water into the disposable cup, but I cannot remember our conversation at this moment. My memory about this friendship is like a filter with an operating mechanism that I can scarcely figure out. It is nice in fact. It makes me feel that every detail about her in my mind is so true, so real since I can do nothing to it. what is going to be stored and what is going to be forget are not my call. I don’t bother to try to save something for myself, I just experience every moment we’ve shared and wait.